More Joy Ministries
Full Bible Study
With Valentine’s Day coming up, culture is about to push the same message it pushes every year. If you’re in a relationship, you’re winning. If you’re single, you’re waiting. If you’re married, you’re complete. If you’re not, something must be missing.
That idea does not come from Scripture.
1 Corinthians 7 gives one of the most honest and balanced teachings on relationships in the entire Bible, and Paul does something that surprises most people. He does not treat singleness like a problem to solve. He treats it like a calling that can carry serious spiritual weight.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:32 through 35 that the unmarried believer can focus on pleasing the Lord, while the married believer naturally has divided responsibilities. That is not criticism of marriage. Marriage is sacred. Marriage is covenant. Marriage reflects Christ and the Church.
But marriage comes with real responsibilities that God Himself designed. A husband must care for his wife. A wife must care for her husband. That is righteous. That is obedience.
Singleness, however, allows something marriage cannot.
Undivided focus.
Paul uses the Greek word aperispastōs when he talks about serving the Lord without distraction. It means not being pulled in different directions. Not divided. Not stretched thin between competing obligations.
That is not a downgrade. That is strategic.
Then Paul makes something even clearer in verse 7. He says each person has their own gift from God. The Greek word is charisma. A grace-given assignment. A divine enablement.
Marriage is a charisma.
Singleness is a charisma.
Neither is superior. Both are callings.
Look at Scripture honestly and you will see God using both paths powerfully. Jesus lived single. Paul lived single. John the Baptist lived single. Their focus, mobility, and devotion allowed them to accomplish missions that required complete surrender.
At the same time, Peter was married. Many prophets were married. God builds His kingdom through families and through individuals fully devoted to Him.
Singleness is not incomplete life.
Singleness is not punishment.
Singleness is not second place.
Sometimes it is preparation.
Sometimes it is protection.
Sometimes it is a season of sharpening.
Sometimes it is a lifelong assignment.
Valentine’s Day measures love by romance and status. Scripture measures love by surrender and obedience.
A person can be deeply loved by God and walking fully in purpose while unmarried.
The real question is not whether someone has a spouse. The real question is whether someone is fully surrendered to Christ.
P.S. To the young man or young woman who is determined to find a spouse, let me leave you with something a pastor once told me that stuck.
Do not chase a relationship. Chase God.
Run after Him with everything you have. Build your discipline. Build your character. Build your obedience. Grow in the Word. Grow in prayer. Grow in maturity.
And if one day you look to your left or right and see someone running just as hard toward Christ as you are, someone keeping pace spiritually, someone not slowing you down but sharpening you, then pursue that.
Do not look for someone who completes you.
Look for someone who is already complete in Christ and running the same direction.
Two people sprinting toward God together is far stronger than two people holding hands walking nowhere.
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